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I'm an Eating Disorder Recovery Coach certified through OED Academy. I have a BA in Psychology & Nursing and a Foundation Certificate in Counselling.
Read my story.
In eating disorder recovery, the focus extends beyond mere food consumption; in fact, so much of the journey looks into aspects unrelated to food. While yes, starting your day with a nourishing breakfast is vital, there’s another crucial aspect: learning to tune into your emotions. Understanding that your thoughts and feelings are separate from who you are is a game-changer in your transformation. For many of us battling eating disorders, food becomes our go-to for numbing, distracting, or coping with our overwhelm. That’s why mastering emotional awareness, learning to regulate those feelings, and finding healthier ways to meet our needs are the ultimate aims of eating disorder recovery.
Developing emotional awareness is a crucial aspect of navigating the complexities of eating disorder recovery. Much of what I do with my clients centers on helping them become more emotionally aware, and it’s a big part of our time together. Especially for those who have struggled with eating disorders for a long time, this journey can feel like peeling back layers of habits and patterns that have become second nature. It takes time to recognize those triggers, feelings, and behaviors that have become so ingrained. By honing emotional awareness, individuals can better understand the underlying triggers and behaviors associated with their eating disorder. And that’s when the real change can begin to happen.
So what does that process look like? We start by gaining awareness of the eating disorder BEHAVIORS (binging / purging / restricting etc.). Initially, the aim is pure awareness, not immediate eradication of these behaviors. After all, these behaviors have served a purpose, potentially providing comfort in challenging environments or offering a means to numb emotions like anger or anxiety. I’m committed to ensuring a client is equipped with coping tools every step of the way. While food might not always be the healthiest coping mechanism, its presence in your life has been for a reason.
To gain awareness, we begin by identifying triggers (what prompted you to have behaviors)? Triggers are various stimuli encountered in our surroundings, such as sounds, sights, or situations, that evoke memories of challenging experiences or amplify urges to engage in unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. I ask clients to track any triggers they frequently encounter: location, time, emotional state, other people, and the immediately preceding action. Usually, a pattern emerges. Examples might include feeling tired or stressed after work, feeling anxious before family gatherings, or feeling worthless triggering restriction.
Once we start to see the patterns of triggers emerge specific to YOU, we look at the FEELING that is often underneath because there’s usually a THEME. Is it feeling invisible, unheard, unimportant, or stressed? Some people might frequently have binging and purging behaviors after arriving home from work overly hungry and stressed from the day. Others might notice a pattern of binging after a visit with their parents because they never feel seen by their mother. And yet others may notice a habit that has emerged of having thoughts of worthlessness triggering restriction.
Part of becoming more aware of our feelings involves truly understanding that these emotions are temporary; they won’t last forever. I often share with my clients the quote, “before you can begin to heal it, you need to learn to feel it.” Taking a moment for mindfulness around the feeling allows it to pass through you. Pay attention to where you feel it in your body. Just observe the sensation—is it warm, is it in your throat, etc.? The location may shift, and that’s the beauty of impermanence: nothing remains the same.
Next, we explore the NEED associated with the feelings. Let’s use an example. A past client we’ll call Lisa had a long history of childhood trauma along with not feeling heard. Lisa would have a disagreement with her husband and leave feeling like he didn’t listen to what she wanted. That left her feeling angry and unimportant. She then realized her need was to be heard. So she started to practice using her voice, and over time it became easier. And the more she was able to express herself with him, the less her eating disorder behaviors stuck around. There was no longer a need to have the binging behaviors because her need to be heard was being met.
By unraveling the complex interplay between emotions, behaviors, and underlying needs, clients like Lisa can begin to develop healthier coping mechanisms and strategies for addressing their emotional needs. This process not only empowers individuals to make more informed choices around food but also fosters greater self-awareness, resilience, and emotional well-being.
In essence, learning to feel and navigate our emotions is not merely a supplemental aspect of eating disorder recovery—it is a cornerstone of lasting healing and transformation. Through compassionate self-reflection, introspection, and support, individuals can begin a journey of self-discovery, reclaiming agency over their emotions and their lives.
If you’re feeling stuck in the cycle of eating disorder behaviors, know that there is hope and support available. Schedule an intro call HERE to explore the possibilities. You’re not alone—I’m rooting for you.
For deeper insights into emotional awareness and regulation, check out this highly informative article: https://psychcentral.com/health/emotional-regulation#skills
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Cheryl Pomario is a certified eating coach with a background in psychology and nursing, offering personalized coaching to help individuals overcome disordered eating.
Cheryl Pomario is a certified eating coach with a background in psychology and nursing, offering personalized coaching to help individuals overcome disordered eating.
Cheryl Pomario is a certified eating coach with a background in psychology and nursing, offering personalized coaching to help individuals overcome disordered eating.