Veganism and Eating Disorder Recovery: Navigating the Challenges

For many people, transitioning to veganism or a plant-based diet is a choice driven by ethical, environmental, or health concerns, but in the context of eating disorder recovery, it can present unique challenges. It’s a lifestyle that feels empowering and often aligns with deeply held values about kindness, compassion, and sustainability. This was certainly the case for me. I became vegan years ago, motivated by my love for animals and a desire to contribute positively to the planet. However, the shift that was meant to bring health and harmony gradually fed into my disordered eating patterns and worsened my relationship with food.

At first, being vegan felt liberating. I was eating healthier, nourishing my body, and doing something good for the world. But then, I decided to adopt an even stricter version of my vegan diet—a whole-food, plant-based, no-oil approach. I thought that cutting out oils, processed foods, and refined ingredients would be the pinnacle of health. Little did I know, the more restrictive my diet became, the more intense my cravings grew, and the harder it became to maintain a healthy relationship with food. My disordered eating tendencies found a new home in this restrictive diet, and my mental health began to suffer.

The Link Between Restriction and Bingeing

One of the things that became evident during this time was how restriction inevitably led to bingeing. When we deprive ourselves of certain foods or entire food groups, our bodies and minds react by intensifying our cravings for those very foods. It’s a survival mechanism—a biological response to scarcity. My strict rules around food made me crave the things I was avoiding even more. At times, I found myself bingeing on foods that weren’t part of the diet, which only compounded my feelings of guilt and shame.

This cycle of restriction and bingeing is a hallmark of many eating disorders. In my case, the orthorexic tendencies I had developed made it even more challenging to break free from the cycle. Orthorexia is an obsession with eating “pure” or “healthy” foods, and while it’s not officially recognized as an eating disorder, it shares many characteristics with other restrictive eating disorders. Orthorexia often involves an intense preoccupation with the quality of food, leading to restrictive eating patterns that can have a significant impact on both physical and mental health.

The more I restricted, the more I became obsessed with food. I would spend hours thinking about what I could eat, when I could eat, and how I could make sure everything fit within my rigid guidelines. My world started to shrink as my diet became more and more controlled. Social situations became a minefield—I would avoid eating out or going to restaurants because I couldn’t control the ingredients. When I did give in to cravings, I was overwhelmed with guilt, not just because I had broken my “rules,” but because I felt like I was betraying the animals I cared so deeply for.

Orthorexia and the Ethics of Veganism

For many people, veganism is more than just a diet—it’s an ethical stance. It’s about doing no harm, reducing animal suffering, and making choices that align with compassionate living. However, when veganism is coupled with eating disorder recovery and disordered eating patterns, it can become a source of immense guilt and shame. I felt like I had to be perfect in my food choices, not just for myself but for the animals. The moral weight of every food decision became overwhelming, and any deviation from my diet felt like a personal failure.

This is where orthorexia can become particularly tricky for those of us navigating both veganism and eating disorder recovery, especially when we care deeply about the ethical side of veganism. It’s easy for the desire to eat in a way that aligns with our values to morph into an obsession with food purity. In my case, the strict adherence to a whole-food, plant-based diet wasn’t just about health—it was about being the “best” vegan I could be. I felt that by cutting out oil, processed foods, and any non-vegan ingredients, I was doing more for the animals and the planet. But in reality, I was doing harm to myself.

Letting Go of Labels and Finding Grace

Recovery forced me to face some hard truths. I had to admit that my rigid food rules were no longer serving me—or anyone else. I wasn’t being kinder to animals by obsessively restricting my diet. Instead, I was harming my own mental and physical health. To truly recover, I had to let go of the labels that were keeping me stuck.

One of the most challenging aspects of my recovery was the realization that I might need to eat animal products to heal. For years, I had defined myself as vegan, and my identity was tied to that label. But I knew deep down that if I wanted to recover, I had to allow myself to eat a wide variety of foods—even foods I had previously sworn off for ethical reasons. This wasn’t an easy decision. The guilt I initially felt was overwhelming—I couldn’t bear the thought of causing harm to any living being. The moral conflict was real, and it took time for me to make peace with the idea that prioritizing my own well-being didn’t mean abandoning my values. 

The turning point in my recovery came when I realized that being flexible with my diet didn’t mean I had to abandon my ethics. I could still care deeply about animals and the environment while also taking care of my health. Recovery allowed me to release the rigid rules that had been controlling my life and gave me permission to eat intuitively. This meant listening to my body’s cues and allowing myself to eat what I needed in the moment, without judgment, and doing the best I could.

Intuitive Eating and Food Freedom

One of the biggest lessons I learned in recovery is that food freedom isn’t about adhering to a perfect diet—it’s about trusting your body and letting go of the need for control. Intuitive eating became a cornerstone of my healing journey. Instead of following strict rules or labels, I began to tune into my body’s signals. I started to ask myself what I wanted to eat, what would nourish me, and how I could enjoy food without guilt.

For those of us who have struggled with orthorexia or other restrictive eating patterns, intuitive eating can feel like a radical shift. It requires us to let go of the idea that there is a “right” way to eat and instead focus on what works for our individual bodies. This can be particularly challenging for those who have been vegan or followed a plant-based diet for ethical reasons. But the truth is, intuitive eating doesn’t have to mean giving up your values. It’s about finding a way to nourish yourself that aligns with both your physical needs and your ethical beliefs.

For me, this meant being flexible with my veganism. I had to acknowledge that my body needed more than what my strict plant-based diet was providing. I started incorporating a variety of foods into my meals, some of which included animal products. This decision wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my eating disorder recovery. I learned to give myself grace, understanding that taking care of myself didn’t mean I was abandoning my values—it meant I was finding a sustainable way to live in alignment with them.

The Takeaway: Prioritizing Health Over Perfection

Navigating the intersection of veganism, plant-based eating, and eating disorder recovery is complex. It’s important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to health or recovery. What worked for me may not work for everyone, but I believe the key is finding balance and prioritizing your well-being over perfection.

If you’re struggling with disordered eating and veganism, know that it’s okay to question the rules you’ve set for yourself. It’s okay to release labels that no longer serve you and to prioritize your health. Recovery is about finding a way to live that honors both your body and your values—and sometimes that means letting go of rigidity in favor of flexibility.

Ultimately, recovery is about food freedom, and food freedom looks different for everyone. For me, it meant allowing myself to eat a variety of foods, sometimes including animal products, in order to heal. For you, it might mean something else entirely. The most important thing is to find what works for you and to give yourself grace along the way.

For more information on intuitive eating click here.

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